The Rest of the Story

There's that fairy tale that has this "punch line":

Master of all masters, get out of your barnacle and put on your squibs and crackers. For White-Faced Simminy has got a spark of hot cockalorum on its tail, and unless you get some pondalorum, high topper mountain will be all on hot cockalorum.

But it doesn't tell you the rest of the story. The story ends after the above quotation with an ellipsis and the words "That's all". If you've ever written an essay, you know what an ellipsis means: words were left out. I happened to run across the entire story in my local used bookstore last night, so in the interest of public disclosure, here's what goes between the above quotation and the words "That's all":

The master of all masters leapt out of his barnacle. But by the time he got to the hearthroom, White-Faced Simminy had already knocked over the only basin of pondalorum in high topper mountain. He told the servant to take hold of White-Faced Siminy, and when she had, he dropped his squibs and crackers and, taking careful aim, extinguished White-Faced Siminy's tail with a steady stream of rick santorum.